Confidence

Today I’ve been thinking about confidence.

This morning I got up, got showered and dressed, the same as any other morning but, something felt different. Even though I wasn’t going anywhere and didn’t have anything planned, I wanted to look and feel smart. My nails needed doing so I did those, I put my hair into a bun out of the way since the weather has been lovely here today, I only put on jeans and a t-shirt but, I put a little make-up on too. I felt comfortable and happy today with how I looked, I felt sexier than on most other days and I didn’t even have sexy underwear on.

I’ve always believed that confidence is a learned skill. Learned because, people are born neutral – not confident and not shy, I believe it’s our lives and surroundings etc that determine how confident we are as people – especially when it comes to how we look. For example, since I was younger I’ve been quite a tom-boy – I enjoy sports and videos games, I like wearing hoodies and jeans and trainers, not interested in heels and handbags etc.

I was friends with boys and didn’t get on with anything remotely female and that suited me fine but, I didn’t really fit in very well so, my confidence wasn’t very high by the time I started getting older. The girls around me were getting dressed up and going clubbing etc and I had more fun playing football or video games or going walking. However, it goes to show because nowadays, I’m a fairly confident person when it comes to my appearance. I’ve never had a problem talking to strangers or speaking in front of a crowd but, when it comes to how I look, I’ve always been a bit uneasy.

And a skill because, personally I don’t think it’s easy being confident, everybody has body issues and hang-ups about their appearance and anybody who doesn’t admit it is just being silly. Our society and culture nowadays encourages us to worry about our looks and appearance more than ever before so people are feeling more and more inadequate. For those who find confidence easy they’re kidding themselves and there’s not much that’s as unsexy as cockiness and over-confidence is.

To me, it’s a great confidence booster to have somebody to look and feel sexy for. If I wore sexy underwear a year ago, nobody would have known or cared, it might have made me feel a bit more womanly but, obviously there were no compliments and nobody to share it with. Now though, I feel like I WANT to wear the sexy underwear and heaven forbid a bit of make-up for my man AND for myself which is… nice really. I’ve always known that I’ve felt sexy or pretty and more confident about how I look when I’ve been comfortable – I think this is the same for most women. Not slacking in jeans and a hoodie comfortable but, comfortable in my skin and comfortable with the fact that I feel like I’ve made an effort.

So, that’s my two pence worth – ask me again tomorrow and I’ll probably be whining about my big chin or my flabby arms but, today is a good day. We all have our body hang-ups, sometimes they’re more noticeable to ourselves than other times, finding a balance is the important part.

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