After seeing a few articles pop up on my Facebook news feed this weekend about ‘how to please your woman’, ‘what women really want in bed’, ‘how to give her the best sex ever’ etc. I got sick of seeing these crappy little articles and decided to write one myself instead! I’m not saying all the articles above were written by egotistical men – some were written by women which is surprising.
Anyway, here’s my 14 tips, things that your woman really wants you to know but doesn’t want to tell you – usually in order to save your ego and ahem, manhood from taking a whacking.
So ladies, if you’re reading this, take a look and then show this article to your man – don’t be shy! And men, take a long, hard look, take it all in and go and make me proud. And remember folks, not everybody is the same, these are more like guidelines than actual rules 😉
Kiss her neck
In a world where more and more men are taking their lead from pornography when it comes to sex, kissing, nibbling and licking her neck is intimate and will drive her wild. And it’s not just the neck, her collarbone, shoulders and decolletage are all highly sensitive areas – don’t forget them!
She’s all ears
While you’re there kissing at the nape of her neck, teasing her hair follicles, stroking her collarbone etc, don’t forget her ears. Inside and out the ears are packed with super sensitive nerve endings, gently nibble, lick and breath softly around her ear, massage her ear lobe with your lips and whisper to her. Tell her what she’s doing to you, how beautiful and sexy she is, that you want to make love to her, tell her what you’re doing to her on the outside and what she’s doing to you on the inside. We love to hear it.
Tease her tresses
Gently tugging at her hair stimulates nerve endings. If you or she is into it, try burying your whole hand in her hair and tugging a little harder, slowly move her head to where you want it, let her know you want to be in control. In a recent study, research showed that couples who ‘groom’ – give massages, brush and play with each other’s hair etc, had a deeper and more satisfying bond.
Lustful stares when done right are highly erotic but, for a woman, holding eye contact during love making can heighten the intimacy like you wouldn’t believe. Some people may prefer positions where you can’t maintain eye contact – in this case, a well-placed mirror can be a huge turn on and mean you can keep looking at each other.
Both sexes are turned on more by sight than by any other sense. Watching each other can increase intimacy tenfold, whether it’s her watching you or you watching her, you could be pleasuring each other or yourselves it doesn’t matter.
Out of your mind
Make her feel like you’re totally lost in her and you cannot get enough of her. Women who are emotionally satisfied during sex are far more likely to say that the sex was very pleasurable. Her biggest sexual organ is her mind and the idea of being devoured because she’s a powerful and sexual Goddess will arouse the hell out of it.
There’s more to her breasts than just the nipples
Don’t get me wrong, we love you suckling and nibbling on them but, there’s a lot more to it than that. Breasts are a great way to tease her, the nipple is the most sensitive part of course but, run the tips of your fingers around the whole of her breast cup them and swirl around the edge of the areolas with your tongue then finally slip the tip of her nipple into your mouth and nibble. It’s not a contest to see how much of her breast you can get into her mouth.
Don’t forget the butt..
Gently cupping or squeezing her ass during sex invites her to move her hips, be directional but don’t grab. Also, don’t grab onto her buns and hold on for dear life, stroke and knead her softly, stimulating her muscles and soft skin.
During the day or out in public, gently touching or squeezing her ass can be sexy and cute, it reminds her that you’re thinking of her in a naughty way but, other more subtle touches and caresses can be very sexy too, for example, the inside of her wrist or her knee if she’s sitting down or her waist or elbow if she’s standing. These areas are more intimate but sexy and it feels more seductive and secretly naughty.
Head to toe
So you started at the neck and worked your way down but don’t just stop at her vagina. Okay so some women (and some men) may just want to stay away from feet altogether, however, they can be a huge turn on for her. Foot massages, little kisses and nibbles are all winners. Focus your attention on the arch of her foot – just below the ankle on the inside of her leg, the skin in thin here and extremely sensual. Don’t forget her legs either, kissing all the way down, past her pussy and then back up again is torturous for us but, a definite turn on. No tickling though!
Make her wet
You’re not checking your oil levels in your car, just because she feels wet enough to your fingers on the outside, doesn’t mean that’s the case inside. There’s still plenty of arousal to be had and it gives her more time to tune into being fully sensual, which can make her orgasm much more intense.
Rough but gentle
Warm her up first and a woman’s pain threshold increases tenfold. Be aggressive in your delivery but sensitive to her needs. Sometimes we desperately want you to take charge. Pin her down on the bed, push her against the door or wall, gently tease your hand around her neck, hold her hands down above her head. Communication is key, make sure she doesn’t resist and get to know what you both like gradually.
Catch her out – be spontaneous
When it’s either in the morning or last thing at night, sex can start to feel a bit routine so, sometimes you have to shake things up a little. Be spontaneous, remember it will take her longer to get into the mood than you but, one of the best ways to get her there is by showing her how sexy you find her. Kiss her like you can’t contain yourself. For example, if she’s been for a shower, kiss and lick the water at her neck, touch the outsides of her hips and thighs – after a shower her skin will be warm and soft and extra sensitive.
Probably the most important rule, I’ve touched on it (no pun intended I promise!) in the other points but, I wanted to highlight it. Men’s sexuality and arousal can be thought of like a light switch. Obviously they have their moments when they just aren’t in the mood but when they are, it hasn’t taken them long to get there. For women, it’s completely the opposite, sometimes our thoughts and your unplanned actions have the right effects and we help ourselves, other times you have to work for it. Worship her body, talk to her, massage her, make her feel relaxed and beautiful, hint with subtle glances and caresses beforehand and take your time. If she feels rushed, it’s just not happening for her.
Like I said at the beginning, this isn’t a rule book to follow, you can’t just follow down the list and tick each one as you go. Everybody is different, as it every situation but, give some of my pointers a whirl sometime, you never know!